"Why does the mind force you to remember? Why is the heart so weak? Why does the heart love what does not belong to it? I know what I want in the back of my determined mind. I want to love without precautions, I don't want to have to understand. I have no time to wait for my turn. I want to be his and he to be mine, I want to be the only woman who flaunts in his mind. I don't want ended phone calls and "ill call you backs" I don't want him to forget me for a day or two and then tell me he's sorry and its not me it's him. I don't want to feel comforted by "you deserve more" I know you know what I need and it's not that hard to give, I don't want to have to understand. I want to be free to love him endlessly. I am tired of marrying him in my thoughts, I am tired of cuddling up to him in my heart, I am angered each time I have to force my self not to think about him and her and then him and her and I am tired. I am tired of not seeing him when I want. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired."
As I sat and wrapped my hands around my leg and rest my head on my knee, droplet of tears started to fall as my mind started to think and my heart started to feel the agonizing pain of love. I rocked back and forth with my face wrenched from the thoughts that stroke my mind. My body trembled as I tried to contain the tears and comfort my self but try as I may I failed. I was lonely. Not for anybody. I was lonely for him. I needed consolation but not just any would do,I wanted to share my tears with no one but him. Every inch of my soul craves him
Every fiber of my heart cries for him
Every protein in my blood runs for him. Every layer of my endothelium belongs to him. You see the mind is a terrifying,confused place to live. It wants to forget but it wants to remember, it documents every single detail of your most thrilling moments and creates keepsakes, the minute your alone you go back to them.
It hurts most because you are hurting for no reason. You just live the hurt day by day. You can't even wait because there's is nothing to wait on and you want to say I'm done but that, but always keeps you going back. The conversations, the late night phone calls,sleeping on his chest, having him being the first person you call for every situation and decisions. Your exception would be gone.His friendship is just not enough.
The road ahead is dark and terrifying and you just can't face it. Saying goodbye is just as good as dying.
Signed: Keibella
As I sat and wrapped my hands around my leg and rest my head on my knee, droplet of tears started to fall as my mind started to think and my heart started to feel the agonizing pain of love. I rocked back and forth with my face wrenched from the thoughts that stroke my mind. My body trembled as I tried to contain the tears and comfort my self but try as I may I failed. I was lonely. Not for anybody. I was lonely for him. I needed consolation but not just any would do,I wanted to share my tears with no one but him. Every inch of my soul craves him
Every fiber of my heart cries for him
Every protein in my blood runs for him. Every layer of my endothelium belongs to him. You see the mind is a terrifying,confused place to live. It wants to forget but it wants to remember, it documents every single detail of your most thrilling moments and creates keepsakes, the minute your alone you go back to them.
It hurts most because you are hurting for no reason. You just live the hurt day by day. You can't even wait because there's is nothing to wait on and you want to say I'm done but that, but always keeps you going back. The conversations, the late night phone calls,sleeping on his chest, having him being the first person you call for every situation and decisions. Your exception would be gone.His friendship is just not enough.
The road ahead is dark and terrifying and you just can't face it. Saying goodbye is just as good as dying.
Signed: Keibella